Advice for the Bereaved, #117

Don’t buy the cheap tissues at the store. Spend the money, buy the most expensive ones they have. The kind with lotion. The kind that won’t shred when, in one nothingth of a second and with absolutely no warning, you go from being somehow relatively OK at a random point in time to doubled over on the floor, screaming white-hot sheets of tears and snot into them in volumes you never imagined your body could produce, snatching them one after another after another from a box you can only blindly grope for with wet, shaking hands.

Buy the expensive ones and buy them in bulk. Have a box in every room. Put them back on your list when the first one empties and you have to grab one from another room. If you run low, you’ll rip through your TP in no time flat and then you’ll really be in trouble.

This is your life now. This is what you get, for loving like that.


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